There is something beautiful about having someone in your life who can help you see what God is doing while you are still trying to understand it.
Someone who listens beyond your words. Someone who recognizes your gifts but also challenges you to grow. Someone whose wisdom helps you take the next step, even when the entire path is not clear.
That is one of the blessings of having a mentor during your becoming journey.
So often, we celebrate independence and being able to figure things out on our own. But there is wisdom in allowing someone to walk alongside us. You can love God, pray, lead, serve, and encourage others and still need someone to pour into you.
Especially when you spend so much of your life pouring into everyone else.
A mentor can offer perspective that experience has taught her. She can ask the question you have been avoiding, recognize a pattern you have overlooked, and remind you of what you already know when doubt gets loud. Sometimes, her greatest gift is helping you recognize that you are ready for a step you keep talking yourself out of taking.
But receiving mentorship also means understanding what a mentor is and what she is not.
A mentor is not someone who makes every decision for you. Her guidance should help you develop wisdom and confidence in your own decisions.
She is not someone who will always agree with you. Sometimes, the very answer you need will challenge the answer you wanted.
She is not available every moment you feel uncertain. A meaningful relationship still requires boundaries, respect, and consideration for her life and responsibilities.
And a mentor is not a replacement for your relationship with God. Her voice should encourage you to seek Him, listen for yourself, and take responsibility for your own obedience.
Mentorship requires something from us, too. We have to be willing to listen, receive correction, follow through, and do the work between conversations. We cannot keep asking for wisdom while refusing to apply what we have already received.
So, how do you find a mentor?
Start with prayer. Ask God to help you recognize someone whose wisdom, character, and experience can support the woman you are becoming.
Pay attention to the people whose lives reflect what you hope to grow in. Look beyond a title, a platform, or an impressive introduction. Watch how they treat people. Notice whether their actions align with their words. Consider whether you feel safe being honest with them and whether you are willing to hear an honest response.
Then make a connection. Attend the gathering. Introduce yourself. Ask a thoughtful question. If there is an opportunity, request a conversation about an area where you would value guidance. Be respectful of their time and open to what they can realistically offer.
Allow the relationship to develop. Every meaningful connection does not begin with the question, “Will you be my mentor?” Sometimes, it begins with one conversation, followed by another, until trust and a shared commitment to growth take shape.
When I think about my own mentor, I am grateful that I trusted the spiritual leading that drew me to her.
There was something about her that connected with my spirit. I may not have understood everything that connection would become, but I felt led to her. As our relationship developed, I began to see how much we had in common. There were similarities that made me feel understood and moments that helped me recognize the blessing God had placed in my life.
There is comfort in being able to share your heart with someone who understands where you are coming from.
I often say, “She always has my answer.” Somehow, whether through a conversation, a question, an affirmation, or a loving challenge, she speaks to the very thing I am carrying. Her words help me find clarity. They give me something to pray about, reflect on, and put into practice.
And every time she pours into me, it holds me until the next time.
I carry what she shares into my everyday life. I return to it when I need encouragement. I think about it when I am making decisions. Sometimes, I understand even more of what she meant as I walk through the days that follow.
That is a blessing I do not take lightly.
As a woman who leads, serves, and creates spaces for other women to grow, I need a place where I can receive, too. I need room to ask questions, be challenged, and continue learning. Having a mentor reminds me that there is still more for me to discover and become.
Sis, give yourself permission to receive that kind of support.
Pray for wise connections. Be open to relationships that may look different from what you expected. And when someone takes the time to invest in you, honor that investment through gratitude, respect, and growth.
I thank God for leading me to my mentor. I thank her for the wisdom she shares, the care she gives, and the ways she continues to help me grow.
My becoming journey is richer because she is part of it.
And my prayer for you is that, as you continue becoming, you recognize the people God places along your path and allow yourself to be poured into, too.
With love,
Lady Mica